My Lives: A Memoir was published by Ecco/HarperCollins in 2005. The book departs from conventional memoir structure — no chronological narrative from birth to present — in favor of thematic chapters, each exploring a different dimension of White’s life and identity. The chapters include “My Mother,” “My Father,” “My Shrinks,” “My Women,” “My Hustlers,” “My Master” (an account of a sadomasochistic relationship), “My Friends,” “My Europe,” and “My Body.”
This structure allows White to be both more honest and more analytical than a conventional memoir would permit. By isolating each relationship or experience, he can examine it from multiple angles without being constrained by the demands of narrative continuity. The chapter on his mother can contradict the chapter on his father; the chapter on his body can undermine the chapter on his loves. Identity emerges not as a coherent story but as a palimpsest of overlapping, sometimes incompatible narratives.
The chapter on his HIV-positive body is remarkable for its frankness about aging, illness, and the physical decline that White has faced since his diagnosis in 1985. The chapters on his parents are psychologically devastating — his mother’s manipulative neediness, his father’s emotional absence are rendered without self-pity but with unsparing precision.
White’s willingness to present himself as flawed, sometimes contemptible, often confused distinguishes this memoir from the self-serving tendency of the genre. He does not construct a hero’s journey; he constructs a life — messy, contradictory, occasionally shameful, and persistently interesting.
Collecting My Lives
First edition (Ecco/HarperCollins, New York, 2005): Hardcover, dust jacket.
Market values:
- First edition, fine/fine: $15–$30
- Signed: $30–$60